I set 15 goals in 2026, 3 for each of my behavioral values of creating, exploring, learning, moving, and serving. You can explore my 2026 goals here. “Celebrate healthy boundaries” is one of my three service-based goals this year.
Creating healthy boundaries is essential, but I did not know how to set them or why they matter.
I haven’t always thought this way. I thought boundaries were rigid. More rules to follow. As someone who simultaneously enjoys defying the odds and someone who gets caught in people-pleasing loops, I knew I needed to change… my attitude, thoughts, and expressions. So, a couple of years ago, I went back to therapy. While I tried going in college, I wasn’t ready. This time, I went to a trauma-informed therapist. She told me boundaries are a way of protecting myself. While protection is not love, it is preservation.
So, now, healthy boundaries are necessary for me to:
- Be firm(er) on living my values
- Maintain space for myself
- Communicate needs
- Create a deeper self-understanding of my “whys”
What does celebrating healthy boundaries look and feel like?
It starts with a system to keep them up: So far, I am a month into this goal. My system is to write what I have been asked, what I observe, and how I respond. Currently, I’m learning my boundaries around how to maintain my values. With my word of 2026 being intersection/s (click here to browse intersection posts), values crisscross everything I do and don’t do. (This is not to say that everything I do is productive or “worth” something, but that’s not the point of life. That’s hustle culture.)
If a stimulus is not values-based, it is easier for me to say no and respect the boundary. When I first published my values webpage (check it out here) in 2023, I shared values reflect beliefs through behaviors. Values are also character traits, personality defaults. While my character trait is often an enthusiastic yes, I am learning one way to celebrate boundaries is to honor and appreciate the no.
So, what have I said, “no” to? Big and small things. For one small thing, knowing my partner and I were busy after church, I said no to un-decorating the sanctuary after the holidays. With plenty of other people available to support, I still felt a tinge of guilt. While I still value kindness, I still need to preserve my energy. I can’t say yes, every time.
Boundaries allow your no to be someone else’s yes. Or at least, change the conversation.
For a bigger recognition of a firm no, I have maintained my sobriety and vegetarianism for 2 years now. Even when I went back to Wisconsin earlier this month. Health is very influenced by environment. I am tremendously grateful to live in a space that cares about both these experiences. And while I am not an addict, I appreciate the many gifts sobriety has given me: Clarity. Memory. Peace of mind. Less disassociation and more spontaneity. It is my choice.
Choosing long-term health over short-term people-pleasing is becoming an easier balancing act, especially since I have both expressed my boundaries and maintained them. A word of caution: Healthy boundaries aren’t about seeing eye-to-eye with everyone; instead, it’s about building healthy relationships, involving both establishing boundaries and learning when to be flexible.
As such, the next part of my system for celebrating healthy boundaries is to really honor myself. Not only am I doing the work by myself, I acknowledge most of this work is for myself. As I wrote earlier, this has inspired stronger affirmations or “yes” statements.
In all of this, I am having more fun and therefore have more energy. So, once I hit 10 healthy boundaries, I am celebrating with a long weekend of yeses. I’m thinking about concerts, biking, running, soaking in the hot springs, reading, making art, meditating, and just being with myself.
Over to you. How is 2026 shaping up? What small or big shifts are you seeing in how you are living your values? Where are boundaries easy or established? And when are they harder to navigate? Looking forward to your comments, and see you on February 10th, when I am back to exploring my word for the year.