Self-advocacy is seldom linear.
It’s receiving a seemingly piece of junk mail, and instead of stacking it away into smithereens, opening it, and mercy upon mercy, there’s a reveal of money owed to the recipient. From something opted into, years ago.
I participated in the People vs. Mylan many moons ago, when I was under-earning.
I’m one of the many folks with severe allergies. In addition, I’m one of countless others who has paid thousands on EpiPens, many never used. It’s a $264 million class action lawsuit: In re EpiPen Marketing, Sales Practices and Antitrust Litigation.
And now, I am receiving a nice, unexpected boost. Again. Just because I opted in.
Advocacy is a lot like that. Opting in, for the long haul. Justice sometimes takes the form of the mail. Collective voice, a generic version of a seemingly monopolized medicine, or a few dollars arrives. Unexpectedly and on its own course, justice can happen.
When I lean into my value of advocacy, it’s often for seemingly external causes. But I know a thing or two about justice: Bigotry affecting one affects us all.
Sometimes, I forget to look inward. And see what I really need.
Take the last couple weeks. I had pneumonia. It took plowing through an entire box of tissues and having a crackling voice to finally get to the doctor. Further, self-advocacy led to both an X-ray and a prescription for antibiotics. Only then could I actually rest and take a few days to C-H-I-L-L.
Such time has reminded me of what I really care about, who I am. Even when I am sick, my values and faith drive me. I still had a remarkable amount of energy, despite the granola crunch that was my voice.
Now that I am on the mend, how do I cope?
Because of this time, I’m really looking at how I do things and why I believe what I do. Sometimes, when I focus too much on the doing of life, I begin to begrudge progress. Is this capitalism winning or something else?
When I focus too much on extrinsic worth, my spiritual light starts to dim. I need to give myself a little credit. Some grace. What does that look like? Challenging assumptions. Turning inward, especially when I recognize my bias toward action, exertion, and externals.
Questions from this time are worth pondering. Why do I crave external feedback, when I have everything I need? Is something missing, like a deep need to connect? How have I enabled people-pleasing when it’s perfectly normal to get sick and take some time?
Slowing down for a moment of sickness reminds me to listen. Life continues ticking by, and so I need to keep leaning in, listening, and self-advocating. And spend that EpiPen return.
Over to you: How has sickness, pain, or even poison transformed into healing?